Monday, May 20, 2013

How To Successfully NOT Pay Attention in Class:


Note: I originally posted this as a note on FB in April 2009. 

No one should probably read this, but I'm a senior less than a month from graduation and I feel it is my duty to impart some of my hard earned wisdom to underclassmen of the world. Here goes!

1) If you can, bring your laptop. If possible, sit in the back row so that you don't annoy people sitting behind you or give them the opportunity to rat you out or otherwise get even.

2) Go to Google Documents and make a new word document. Title this document something like: Accounting 201 Notes. Yes, you could use Microsoft Word, but I recommend Google Docs because it not only stores your notes online & frees up your hard drive, but also gives you an excuse if your teacher walks around and wants to know why you have an internet browser open.

3) Don't get caught up in the interwebs! You must master the art of looking up at the teacher about every minute, occasionally with your head thoughtfully cocked to one side as if you are actually chewing over what they are saying. Also, if you are playing an online game, be sure to remember not to press the keys to loudly in your haste to defeat Donkey Kong.

4) Say something in class at least once a week. Whether an anecdote that pertains to the lesson or a question it reassures the teacher that you are paying attention. Also, do try and keep the anecdotes brief because if we have to hear everyday about how down on the farm such and such happened it will get old fast. And seriously, if you are going to answer a questions, make sure it is one you know!

5) Stay in good relations with your classmates. This helps in case you miss something and they are willing to help you out, it helps if you're able to help them out with something in return because there's nothing worse than when people don't pay attention and then ask you a million questions. After many many eons of classes I have developed a ninja sense where my brain is programmed to respond to keywords such as Test, paper, homework, etcetera and I very rarely have to ask my classmates questions.

6) If you can not bring a laptop, there are still options. You could bring your cell phone and text with people however be cautious of the buttons on texting because it can be really annoying for your classmates to hear that little clicking button noise the entire class. Also if texting, don't be obvious! Try and sit at a table and text underneath but be sure that the front is covered!! Or you could wear a hoodie with a front pocket thing and text in there, but be sure to sell it by shivering occasionally as if you are cold. Also, if you're wearing a hoodie you could have your music device in your pouch and the headphone wires running up the sleeve. Though I'd recommend leaving one earbud out so you can still nod along to the lecture. If neither of these are an option, I recommend falling back on the old book/magazine within a book.

Avoid:
1) Talking to your friend in class! You know how when you're sitting there in class and you hear a fly buzzing? That's how hearing two people talking (even quietly) is for your other classmates. For example, in class right now there are two girls who are sitting there talking not loud, but enough so that people keep shooting them dirty looks to stfu. The key in all of this is to draw as little attention to yourself, or at least control the type of attention you get. If you must talk to your friend in class keep it brief.

2) Beware if you have glasses also, because I've had people tell me that they can see me playing a game on my computer because it reflects in my glasses.

Warning: I am a senior and have awesomely easy classes. Use this guide at your own risk. Also, I supplement this with doing my reading so that I am still up to date with my classes and all of my assignments on time and I don't complain when I mess up because I take responsibility for my slacking. =)

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